so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
