Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I don't think brook has ever known best
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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