Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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