Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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