There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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