By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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