my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
