Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize