He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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