there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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