You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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