It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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