dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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