dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
either way he was missing a nipple.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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