I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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