it wasn't lemon gatorade
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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