TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
