very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
