I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
FUCK WHALES
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
