Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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