I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
