just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
