I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
