.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
