Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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