we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
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for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
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Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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