You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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