I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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