i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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