This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
