if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I met the friendliest cop last night
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
