I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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