Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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