I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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