SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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