No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
