I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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