I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
third nipple confirmed
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
