oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I have aggressive nipples.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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