I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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