It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
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He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
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The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
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