we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
