not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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