bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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