I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
