HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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