do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
