But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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