No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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