We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
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The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
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I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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