Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
