id be glad to
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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