i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Boobs speak an international language.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
