Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
