Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
